Dear steemians,
Today i'm going to share a real thing about myself, i hope nobody show this kind of encouragement to share like this kind of issue ever in steemit platfrom.
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I have passed about 27 years of life, but still i have struggle a lot in my life, i'm so hard worker and i have all of positive virtue what should have for a human being. Although i always lack behind in every step of my life, Some days ago i have thinking that i'm a unlucky boy, what i'm going to do properly, every result are negative, become Frustrated, and start once again, and fail once again, just thinking what is the hell going with me, how it possible failing every step of life.
Now i'm very clear about my failure. This is very ashamed for me, but today i have no hesitation to talk about this matter. To making awareness those people who are like me.
I belongs from very poor family, from my childhood i was very bright student, I'm the first child of my parents, They just support me lot as their best till my higher secondary examination, after that they were unable to support me, but also their always try to support me, in my university life, i had to struggle a lot, in those four years how many days i had to starving it was really uncountable, from then i have a dormant anger for my parents, in those i day after a long time i used to contact with my parents, for surviving i just lost my mind and just lost my talent, i used to tuition student randomly for survive, as result my final ravager result is not very satisfactory, Gradually i'm loosing my respect on my parents.
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Until getting any job, i just had no any contact with my parents, it was really painful for them i know, but my anger make me blind, and i was in very abnormal situation. After getting my job, there was a many responsibility in my shoulder, i have to take care of my hole family, have to support my younger brother, have to support my little sister, have to support my grandfather, grandmother and my uncle and aunt, those kind of responsibility just make me mad.
I just always use to talk with my parents roughly, not only with my parents but also with all of members of my family. I know that they always become hurted by myself, but they never protest.
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Today i'm able to understand the main cause of failing behind in life, I'm the great looser because i have no respect to my parents. I do not understand how I apologize to them, And I am not worthy of forgiveness, I have to suffer a lot in life, and also in my spiritual life.